The Day I Woke

In truth, I’d never really acknowledged just how challenging it would be for me to put my struggles down in writing and then share them openly and wholeheartedly with others. I had no idea how it would feel to become completely vulnerable and transparent leaving myself nowhere left to hide. I had no idea how […] Continue reading →

The Others

It’s easy for me, relatively speaking. I’m living my illness. I’m at the centre of my world of disability, illness, doctors, tests and hospitals. I get on and do the best I can each and every day; I deal with the pain, nausea, dislocating joints, wonky autonomic nervous system, exhaustion and fragility. I live it […] Continue reading →

The D Word

Although this is written in the present tense, I wrote this in the spring of 2015. It didn’t feel right to post it until the dark clouds had started to lift… Well, 26/27 on the depression scale. Not quite full marks, but not far off. As I sat with my doctor discussing this score, I […] Continue reading →

The Year I Broke

This year I’ve fallen apart. Everything I once held dear has been torn down and ripped away. My beliefs have been shattered, my sense of spiritual connection has disintegrated and turned to dust, and my physical self has crumbled with ill-health and disability. The story of my life unravelled as everything fell apart; I broke. […] Continue reading →


To the man on the lift who thought his shopping trolley should take preference to my crutches – barging one out from under me as it was in his way. To the woman on the bus who felt her overly large handbag should take priority for the spare seat leaving me standing on my crutches […] Continue reading →

Dear Junior Doctor

Dear Junior Doctor, This is a message to all the doctors involved in the current dispute over changes to your contracts. As a career sick person and professional patient (and no, I’m not proud of that), I have had the privilege to be cared for by a great many junior doctors. Strangely I’ve never considered […] Continue reading →

Identity Crisis

My thumb doesn’t know how to be a thumb anymore. It feels awkward and doesn’t know how to sit with the rest of my hand. It trembles, quivers and spasms; its confidence has taken a tumble, and it feels almost alien to the rest of me. It’s either burning hot or burning cold, and it […] Continue reading →

CRPS – My Embuggerance (Part 2)

A friend once said ‘CRPS? Oh, you should call it CRaP for short’ giggling at her attempt at humour. Trouble is crap makes it sound like a niggly little irritation. Yet, it’s an embuggerance of fairly epic proportion. It’s pushed my many other conditions into the background as it’s an attention seeking little madam, constantly […] Continue reading →

CRPS – My Embuggerance (Part 1)

Perhaps the most challenging of my conditions is CRPS – Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (previously known as RSD). Most people haven’t heard of it nor have most doctors, and, as a result it’s missed, misdiagnosed or dismissed a great deal. CRPS sounds fairly innocuous but it has the tenacity of a rabid ankle-biting terrier that […] Continue reading →

Some New Credentials

Although the concept in itself has never really impressed me, I’ve often thought having letters after my name would show a life of learning and personal evolution. Now I have loads. I’ve got an impressive list of letters that sit snugly against my name. Yet none of them come from academia, nor do they come […] Continue reading →