Why I Am The Way I Am

Someone recently asked me if I knew the reason why I have my health conditions. I’d just had some reflexology which was wonderful, and I really enjoyed it, so I was feeling extremely relaxed and centred. Considering I don’t usually let anyone go within a metre of my left foot, let alone touch it, it was a miracle I’d agreed to it, but I trusted the therapist and I was pleased I was able to completely relax and switch off for the hour or so. I sat quietly for a while pondering the question before I replied. It doesn’t usually

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Learning to Dive – To Bleed Willingly

I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I’ve always felt an intense ‘pressure’ or expectation to be happy.  During those times when I’ve been swamped with pain and unhappiness, I’ve struggled as it’s somehow felt wrong and socially unacceptable, so I’ve tried to fix myself and smile over the cracks. It took me many years before I started to look beyond these beliefs to consider the idea that unhappiness is actually okay. It seems there is a deep sense of fear or discomfort with the idea of being unhappy or sad so we resist it at all costs. However,

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The Pain of Isolation

For many years I put a brave face on my pain and bodily dysfunction; I denied my disability, ignored my fatigue and I brushed over my emotional and spiritual issues. It was easier to deny them in a quest to try to function as normally as possible in order to get on with the business of my life. Yet, this became harder and harder, and I used every ounce of my being to present a façade of being ‘normal’, but the reality was that I was slowly slipping out of sight. My disconnect with myself, and my reality, had reached

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